I mentioned to a friend of mine last week that I was looking for some good books to read, and since that time, it has been as if the books have come looking for me. LOL I noticed on the Money Saving Mom web site last week that Amazon had three free downloads by Francis Chan for the Kindle, so I took advantage of that. I'm currently reading Crazy Love, and it could not have happened at a better time.
It seems as though in the past few months that I've been worrying more than usual. Maybe it has something to do with having two teenager daughters (actually, as of next week there will be two teenagers in the house) along with some other things that seem out of my control.
Well, here's some encouragement and hard reminders I received about my condition. (These are all from the Crazy Love book.)
"Rejoice in the Lord always." Phil. 4:4 It's a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge, "Do not be anxious about anything." (v. 6)
"When I am consumed by my problems - stressed out about my life, my family, and my job - I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a "right" to disobey God because of the multitude of my responsibilities.
WORRY implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others, or our tight grip of control.
Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance......
They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed.......Life is all about God and not about me at all."
Sometimes, I feel like if I don't worry about it then maybe God won't notice how important it is to me. How foolish is that! It's almost like I have this guilt if I'm not worrying. Sometimes if it's something that I have no control over whatsoever, then I think "well, I can at least worry. That's something I can do...."
And then I saw this on the Deep Questions blog this morning...
"Perhaps I don’t open my mouth as big and wide to show my faults. But anytime I let the worries of this life or the pursuit of health & wealth take precedence, I’ve stepped into the role of chief hypocrite. I’ve said my hope is in Christ, but instead gone about my daily business as if it were my own and depended on me."
At this point, my best bet, my only bet, is to leave all of this in God's hands, pray for wisdom, and just let God show me what and if there is something that I can do or need to do as part of His big plan. Even as I type this, I find myself thinking, "but what if things don't turn out like I want them to." Sighhhhh. And I have to remind myself to trust God to know what He is doing.....trust the God of the Universe to know what He is doing. What a silly statement. Almost sounds like I'm taking a chance or something. No, I believe God is sovereign over everything, and even when I don't understand or even like what's going on, I believe it is ALL part of His plan, and His ways are best. No doubt.