Why do I like Tuesdays? Because recently, Mondays have been hard days, and it's been good to see them go. Why? I'm not really sure. I think it's multifactorial.
Maybe it's the leftover chaos from the weekend? Proof of activity scattered about. Going from two days of no structured assignments to a day of checklists and not-as-fun to-dos?
Maybe because one child gets to sleep in (because of no school on Mondays in our local system), and the rest must carry on as usual?
Maybe because doctors sometimes like to catch up their dictation on the weekend, and transcriptionist mom has to work a little late to keep up?
The answer may be a mixture of all of the above - or the answer could be found below.
Although, the past couple of Mondays have been a little better time-wise and that has helped. With football season coming to an end, I suddenly gained back three hours - no cheerleading practice.
Then Monday of this week, I thought things were really looking up.
Everyone got up early and did their school work well. A refreshing moment.
But then....while one child is finishing school downstairs, another child near the top of the birth order decides mom needs a surprise.
The usual fresh-baked cookies or surprise lunch? No.
How hands and feet worked so fast in so little time, I'll never know. How I missed the noise of what was happening, I'll never know.
Someone decided rooms needed to be changed up. Little brother needed to room with little sister.
I received a warning from another and came upstairs in time to see an almost completed process - beds moved, pictures taken off walls, clothes transferred.
Wanted to surprise mom? Not sure. Knew mom would say "no" so called it a "surprise" instead? Yeah, probably. Speechless. So many details that were not considered when the child ran with this idea........
I'm continuing to slowly read through One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I'm taking my time with this, using it like a daily devotion, hoping the Biblical truths of what I'm reading will seek in deep.
While reading Tuesday morning, day following this fiasco, I happened to be in the chapter where she was experiencing a similar episode with her children - one of those where you're not quite certain what to do.
Here's what I found:
"My own wild desire to protect my joy at all costs is the exact force that kills my joy." Going back and reading my above excuses for "bad Mondays," I can't help but think of those italicized words I just typed - and the ones that follow.
"Dare I ask what I think I deserve? A life of material comfort? A life free of all trials, all hardship, all suffering? A life with no discomfort, no inconveniences? Are there times that a sense of entitlement - expectations - is what inflates self, detonates anger, offends God, extinguishes joy?"
"And what do I really deserve? Thankfully, God never gives what is deserved, but instead, God graciously, passionately offers gifts, our bodies, our time, our very lives. God does not give rights but imparts responsibilities - response-abilities- inviting us to respond to His love-gifts. And I know and can feel it tight: I'm responding miserably to the gift of this moment. In fact, I'm refusing it. Proudly refusing to accept this moment, dismissing it as no gift at all, I refuse God. I reject God. Why is this eucharisteo always so hard?"
And I, as well, have been refusing the gift of Mondays. Even the great frustration of this Monday was a gift. Did I receive it as such? Absolutely not. Did my joy remain in this event? No.
Now I see it. Every new Monday, every new day in fact, is a day filled with gifts for me to receive or reject. My mulligan. Times for joy to remain or for joy to be squashed beneath a load of selfishness.
"To follow Christ to the table of eucharisteo, the table of surrender that gives thanks for what is given - this is joy! True humility is self-smallness to the point of "blessed self-forgetfulness" and what could bring more happiness than emptying of self-will and being wholly immersed in the will of God for this moment?
>>>>>>>>>> Joy - it's always obedience."
Philippians 2:8 ESV > And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
*(All words in italics taken from One Thousand Gifts.)
**Just read this blog post, and I think it fits well with my post ~ she gives real-life examples of some of these "gifts." I like her responses.
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